


THIS IS A CRACK FICTION THAT HAPPENED WHEN I TRIED TO WRITE FOR SERIOUS

by BakerBitches



Category: no - Fandom
Genre: M/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2013-08-23
Updated: 2013-08-23
Packaged: 2017-12-24 10:46:58
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Graphic Depictions Of Violence
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,323
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/939063
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/BakerBitches/pseuds/BakerBitches
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Don't look at me; I just watched as it unfolded and I could do nothing about it.<br/>- xx <3 Lina</p>
            </blockquote>





	THIS IS A CRACK FICTION THAT HAPPENED WHEN I TRIED TO WRITE FOR SERIOUS

**Author's Note:**

  * For [sherkeys](https://archiveofourown.org/users/sherkeys/gifts), [Sweetscribe](https://archiveofourown.org/users/Sweetscribe/gifts).



A smirk flashed across the standing man’s face and he leaned further forward. John started to feel uncomfortable by the closeness and fidgeted in his low seat, pulling his elbows off the table and tilting into his chair. Slowly, Holmes slid the bag across the desk and crawled on top of it with equal speed, lifting one knee at the time and keeping eye contact with his student. John’s eyes continued to widen in surprise.

 

“Wha-”

 

Sherlock knelt on the desk with a brisk movement, startling John even further. “You could _please me_ ,” he hissed, calmly tugging at his belt. “By pleasing me.”

 

John stared wide eyed at the man pulling his dick out in front of him, licking his lips. “Are you really implying that-” he was silenced when Holmes took his jaw and squeezed it open. 

  
  
  


Sherlock hissed again. suddenly he was a snake.

 

He took a jar ofj jam and shoved it down his throat.

“Eat the fucking chcoken nugers!”

 

He smeared the nugers all over his torso, and poured whipped cream on top.

 

“I’m going to make you into… a happy meal.”

  


“Pototo…”, John stammered, looking completely like a stag in the headlights of a monster truck or something.

 

“Don’t Pototo me. Do as I say. I want you to be good enough to eat.”

Vicki didn’t do like half of this let me clear that the fuck up i swear to fucking god

fucking

“But you are.. My potato.” John frowned. He took the  IT IS SPEELED POATAO YOU FUCK I MEAN POTATO POTATO

 

SHERLOCK PUT THE POTATO INTO JOHN’S GAPING CAVERN

OH GOD SHERLOCK MORE POTATO GREASE IT UP

JOHN BUCKED AGAINST THE POTATO

“MORE, SHERLOCK, MORE! I WANT THE POTATO”

 

“Yes, and you’ll do as you’re taught my boy. And as you’re **_told_** _.”_

 

Suddenly, Sherlock had a dick and it was big like seriously WOW yu ltittle fuck you little fuck is wear to fucking fuck i fucking swear to fod it is BANDANA YOU LITTLE FUCKWAD CUNT SHITDICK ASSWIPE  BANDANA is not the word(but dick dick dickely dick). He was dressed in sweats and a track suit. Don’t Drop that Thun Thun Thun began to play softly in the background. Sherlock POp it is popped it is fucking pOPPED HE POPPED HIS BODY PED not pooped it said pooped but now it is ppped opppoped i mean popped his booty out and twerked. He sashayed over to the wall and began to wall twerk. STOP I SAY. BUT THEN THE WEATHER STARTER CRYING AND THE WEATHER AND MUSIC STARTED PLAYING AND THEN THE END.

 

sherlock was wearing a tutu and thigh high stockings. and he wore these christian louboutin high heels

**_ THE STOCKINGS REALLY LOOKED GOOD ON HIS CHICKEN NUYGERDon’t drop that dun dun dun. Dun dun thun. d _ **

 

**_ SHERLOCK PUT HIS THINGY INTO JOHN’S GAPING CAVERN.  _ **

**_ AND HE PUT HIS COCONUT IN JOHN’S POOPER _ **

**_ JOHN LIKED IT _ **

**_ AND THE POTATO _ **

**_ AND THEN A BANANA _ **

 

**_ HE MADE JOHN INTO A WALKING FRIDGE _ **

**_ BECAUSE THERE WAS A HEAD IN HIS OTHER ONE _ **

**_ AND JOHN WAS GOOD AT STORING FOOD _ **

 

**_ JOHN LIKED IT WHEN HE WAS A FRIDGE HE GOT OFF ON IT _ **

**_ ONE DAY BEING A FRIDGE WON’T BE ENOUGH FOR JOHN _ **

**_ ONE DAY WE’LL BE STANDING AROUND A PILE OF FRIDGES AND JOHN WILL BE THE ONE WHO PUT THEM THERE _ **

 

**_ John _ **

 

**_ JOHN BUCKED AGAINST THE FRIDGE _ **

**_ SHERLOCK TOOK A FRIDGE AND ACTUALLY FUCKED JOHN WITH IT _ **

**_ AGAINST A DOOR HANDLE _ **

**_ IDK _ **

**_ YES HE DID LIKE IT _ **

 

**_ HE GOT OFF ON IT _ **

**_ ONE DAY SHERLOCK HOLMES WILL BE STANDING AROUND A FRIDGE _ **

**_ AND JOHN WILL BE IN _ **

**_ IT _ **

 

**_ PLOT TWIST _ **

**_ SHERLOCK IS HANNIBAL _ **

**_ the vegetarian cociken nuger poatoa _ **

 

**_ Sherlock began to slice up John . I want to consume you, he whispered. JJOHN IS NOW HUMAN NUGGERS _ **

 

**_ ARUBA JAMAICA I WANNA TAKE YOU _ **

**_ SHERLOCK SANG _ **

**_ SHERLOCK SAIDED: DO YOU WANNA FUCKING GOYES I DO FUCKING HARD????~!?!??? _ **

 

**_ SHERLOCK IS NOW ON HIS HANDS AND KNEES AND JOHN ISHUMAN _ **

**_ BUTT ANAL _ **

**_ AGAIN HE IS ALIVE AGAIN AND NO LONGER NUGGERS SO THE SEX CAN COMMENCE.   _ **

 

**_ Sherlock ran his fingers along the inside of John’s thigh.then  I want to be inside u bb ur my boo my cuppy cake dgumdrop ur my sweetie pie and i love you so and i want you to know i will always be right here _ **

 

**_ Sherlock swirled his tongue around john’s gaping bearded clam _ **

 

**_ BUT THEN _ **

 

**_ POTAT GREW OUT OF JOHN AND BUTT AND THEN THEY FUCKED _ **

 

**_ PLOT TWIST _ **

 

**_ JOHN IS SHERLOCK _ **

**_ MRS HUDSON IS ACTUALLY SHERLOCK OODSUN IS DEADA _ **

 

**_ SHERLOCK AINT GOT NO HEAD HE IS LIKE 5 _ **

**_ DEAD _ **

 

**_ ANDERSON SUDDENLY APPEARED WITH SALLY. “U BEEN CLEANING FLOORS AGAIN SALLY HE WHISPERED SEDUCTIVELY AGAINST SALLY’S THROAT OH FUCK YES SHE WHIESPERED SURPRISE THREESOME WITH SHEROCK AND ANDERSON _ **

 

**_ ANDERSON LIKE  THE THREESOME WITH SALLY AND SHERLOCK HE GOT OFF ON IT THAT’S WHY HE’S SO ANGRY WITH SHERLOCK HE’S ACTUALLY SEXUALLY FRUSTRATED OK _ **

**_ ADRNERSON IS HOT AS POTATO LIKE OUT OF FRIDGE AND FRYING PAN. LIKE FRYING PAN IN A FRIDGE. HOW SHIT MAN. _ **

 

**_ ANDERson and Sally took their bras off. _ **

 

**_ “ANDERSON SN IS A GIRLAPPED HIS DICK IN AZ FORMA _ **

 

**_ HE DID THETION. GIRLSLAP ON THAT BITCH _ **

 

**_ U ITT FUCK STOP INTTERUPTING ME _ **

 

**_ LET’S PLAY RING TOSS WITH MY DICK _ **

**_ \SHERLOCK THREW A HULA HOOP AT ANDERSON’S DICK _ **

 

**_ BUT HE MISSED BECAUSE PANCAKES AND THEN HE SAIDED I like it when you throw hula hoops at my dick _ **

 

**_ what is going on molly suddenly molly had a vagina _ **

  


**_ AND THEN THE PANCAKE FLEW THO DA WIDNOW AND KILLED EVERBODU _ **

 

**_ molly spread the nutella all over her armpits “heat me sherlock eat me” _ **

**_ so this is basically an orgy with mrs hudson anderson sally molly sherlock and john but john is a fridge right with a otato up his anus _ **

 

**_ NUTTALE HANDCUFFS ON THE FRIDGE BECAUSE FRIDGE IS NAUGHTY AND HE WANT TO EAT THE PANCAKE _ **

 

**_ let me get this straight _ **

**_ sherlock whipped the fridge with his riding crop _ **

**_ molly tied john up and shoved sherlock into th _ ** **_ e fridge _ **

**_ “i want u to be my dessert” _ **

**_ sudenly molly was evil she had blck lipstick and high heels and rrlly tight blacks skirt and she was bad so bad like rlly fucking bad like evil and s&m  _ **

 

**_ she is actually hookin up with irene thats where she learned this shit _ **

 

**_ irene dropped that thun thun thun _ **

 

**_ “sherlock will u be gud boy” she whispered seductively _ **

 

**_ irene suddenly appeared between mollys breasts  but she’s like two inches tall she got shrink rayed that is where she disappred honey i shrunk the dominatrix _ **

 

**_ now she was small enough to travel the loubs of her ear  _ **

 

**_ whispere _ **

**_ ufhhghghghghghghd dont d _ **

 

**_ THEN IT STARTED THE RAIN AND THEN THEY WAITED FOR THE BUS IN THE RAIN IN THE RAIN WAIT WAITING FOR THE BUS IS THE RAIN. WAITING _ **

**_ rop the thun thun thun yes exactly  _ **

  
  


**_ while the orignial story countinured, _ **

 

**_ Suddenly John was in a little catholic skirt like a catholic school girl skirt and knee high socks  an au began at the sanme time.  _ **

 

**_ he spanked nuns for a living. _ **

**_ sherlock was a nun _ **

 

**_ “have u been naughty mr.s tudent watson “ _ **

 

**_ THEN STALIN POKED THE POTATO yes i have been naughty professor sherlock holmes”  _ **

  


**_ AND NOW, THE WEATHER _ **

 

**_ I need to be sent to detention he inserted a ruler in his anus _ **

**_ idk _ **

  
  


**_ how does gay sex work like serio _ **

 

**_ usly _ **

  
  


**_ the boy flower thinks agressive boy thoughts and fucking the shit out of other boy follwer an _ **

  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  


**_ sherlock cocks was shoved down johns throat. all of a sudden, a strained gargling was heard….as if someone was begging for mercy….sherlock pulls his cock back out and looked at his penis...for some reason his pei _ **

 

**_ im not scarred im scared. _ **

 

**_ like the leGEND OF THE PENIS _ **

**_ WE’RE UP ALL NIGHT TO GET FUNKY _ **

  
**_ LISTEN YOU GUYS ARE SO FUCKING WEIRD _ **


End file.
